Children being a "burden"
Out of boredom and waiting to start employment (I start training on the 23rd), I have come across quite a few forums. I was browsing on a parenting forum today, more like a public lynch mobbing opportunity. On one post a twenty-year-old woman said she was ready to have a child, had been with her partner a year and was marrying soon. She asked for advice on how to prepare herself for pregnancy, I was very surprised to notice people were more concerned about her being twenty, being “too young” to have a child. This is very WTF-worthy, in my opinion. Someone piped up saying she was way too young for children and that she needs to “live her life” first. She didn't get any advice in the end.
Since when did it become unacceptable for a young adult to have a child? Probably since sixty-something-year-old women started conceiving, but that's beside the point. This majorly pisses me off, this whole notion of, “if you're under twenty-five, you're a crap parent/will be a crap parent”. Also, what's with this “children are a burden” society we have? I'm sorry to sound like a mad Christian zealot, but children should not be treated as a consumer product, they are human beings. I fully support choosing to have a child when you're ready, or to not have children at all, however I get sick and tired of people seeing children as a hitch in their lives, the thorns in their side, a burden. You don't want a child until you're forty? Fine, but don't cram your beliefs down my throat.
I get told I'm too young for children all the time, it's quite annoying. I get these older women looking down on me because I'm a young woman and obviously haven't “lived” yet. I see people asking young people to consider what they'll miss if they choose to have a baby. This point always comes up:
“When you have a baby, you will not be able to go out every weekend and get drunk!”
Right, so I'm supposed to miss getting so drunk that I puke in dark ally ways, piss in public and moon every passer by, while pickling my liver and having to suffer from a bloody bad headache the morning after? Right. Just because I'm young, you automatically think I spend my weekends doing this. Far from it! In fact, I never get drunk. The last time I was drunk was probably when I was seventeen. Never again! It's not worth it. I don't even like drinking much, it's rare I drink alcohol.
No wonder kids are having kids, they're being told it's wrong and not to do it. Of course they're going to rebel and try to prove you wrong. However, this doesn't mean I condone children having babies. Constantly, people are being told what they can and cannot do especially by the older generation. People are being picked on and judged for the choices in life they make. If I want to be a young mother, I shall be. I am married, I am employed, my husband is employed. We pay our taxes, we comply with the law. I wouldn't be missing out since I have no life anyway (well people say I don't). I am less selfish than most people, I don't always put myself first. I don't have a “me, me, me!” attitude. I am here for others, then myself. If and when I do have a child, they will be my top priority not my “career” or hobbies. Once a child arrives, I will become even less selfish. I am happy to do this, I want to see any children I have as a blessing and not see them as a burden in my life. We'll live life together and take whatever it throws at us together.