Noisy neighbours

It is so difficult to get a moment’s peace and quiet around here. I wouldn’t have minded it so much if I had no work to do. There are plenty of kids around here, so there is plenty of noise. Some of the kids in this area are unpleasant, they will swear at you, block your way or be down right annoying and ask what you are doing all the time. It is not just the children causing a ruckus, it is the adults too.

I am unfortunate enough to reside in an area that is full of undesirable people. Some people may call them “yobs”, “chavs” or “scallies”. Not one weekend goes by without some drunks staggering about the place, fighting in the early hours. You not only get people fighting in the evening, you get them fighting in the day also. There is one man who takes it upon himself to start a fight with everyone over little things, like Russell Crowe in South Park but without the humour. So far he has been in three fights this month. One time he threatened to kill our neighbour and even assaulted them. The most current time (today, a few minutes ago in fact), he was threatening to “put down” some other male. Non-stop for about half an hour he was screaming and shouting at this person. I went to the window to see who was shouting, but I couldn’t see them. I could tell it was the same cretin by his voice, though.

If you haven’t got “Tough Guy” going around picking fights, you have “Fish Wife”, as I call her. She is your typical undersireable woman with umpteen kids who is only ever heard calling their names. She doesn’t call out their names like any other regular person, oh no. She has to scream in her most shrill voice for the whole block to hear. Daily she shouts for her sprogs, guaranteed. Her voice goes right through me, like that of a strangled cat. If I wasn’t concerned about having my head kicked in, I’d approach her and ask her for two fillets of cod - skinned and boned.

It seems everybody has a dog. There is always some dog yapping away, sometimes two dogs yapping. On a bad day, three. Today is one of those bad days. I like dogs, but I wish the owners would train them in obedience. I suppose around here they feel the need to have guard dogs, but can’t they just stop barking for a couple of hours? You only have to walk past a fence to start one of these mutts off. Once they start, they do not seem to stop. Some of the kids plague the dogs by kicking the fences, which really annoys me. There is nothing more irritating than an undisciplined child. They need to treat animals with respect, they are not play things.

All in all, I live around a load of uneducated half-wits who cannot parent their kids, cannot train their dogs, and can’t even control themselves. I cannot wait to move, whenever that day comes.

I have used a lot of “un” words. Neat!