More Than A String of Letters

They cornered me at tea break and EVERYONE was there and they gave me a chef’s hat which they had all signed (and it says Martha Murphy Master Baker on it, cos Angela always calls me Martha as in Martha Stewart lol) and a card which everyone signed and a lot of money which I haven’t even counted yet cos I was crying so much and so embarrassed!!

After the shite shite morning I’ve had, that really helped!

So now I’m cleaning my desk and clearing out all my things. It’s sad but it doesn’t feel real, somehow. I don’t know how I’ll feel when I leave.

The title of my new book is, unless I decide to change it any time soon, Eleanor’s Knoll.

 And I can’t explain the decision because it would give away some of the plot and I can’t have that!

I like it, I think it sounds quite good. Plus it came to me when I was half asleep, that’s always good, right?

Sorry for the lack of updates.

 I’m kind of feeling like nothing I say is worth bothering about. I feel kind of empty. I feel like I’m going to be very lonely soon if I don’t watch out.

Basically I feel like a complete idiot.

Yet another money grumble, lol. I know I shouldn’t complain since I’ve got a new job with more money, but I’m not going to be paid from there till the end of the month (hopefully) and until then, I have quite literally nothing. It’s this stupid effing loan which I never should have gotten in the first place, but hindsight is a wonderful thing! Anyway I have enough money to get me to work for the next four weeks, and that’s literally it. I don’t think I’ll be buying food this month =/ Except maybe cereal or something. I can’t even have a leaving night with work because I can’t afford it. And it’s not like I spend all my wages on things for me like DVDs because I actually haven’t bought anything decent for myself this month. It’s just been food and bills =/

At least I know things are going to get better very soon, but it’s the present that I’m worrying about. Once again I’m praying for the days to fly by until it’s payday again. I hate living like that.

But anyway I still have no internet, we’re probably going to go to O2 for it since it’s cheaper - they have good deals for people who are already customers. And my PC doesn’t work so when we do get internet again I can’t use it, lol. Fantastic

But I did have a great weekend. Darren came up on Friday night and me, Donna and Caragh were watching the Boosh live Then Donna left But then me and Darren made pancakes for breakfast on Saturday and then made strawberry jam buns. Mmmm

And today it’s snowing! :O It’s pretty.

Wow! I got the job!

He said he’d call before 6, and all day I was so nervous. It got to about 5.30 and I thought great, I haven’t got it and they’re not even going to phone me to let me know. And then at 5.55 I got the phonecall to say I’d been successful! I was so excited, and they’ve giving me a higher salary than I asked for. I really can’t believe it, this is such a good oppertunity for me. Plus working so close to the King’s Theatre… I guess that’s where I’ll be spending much of my new wages! Haha.

So now I need to go hand in my notice as they want me to start on March 17th. I’m really nervous about this because it really is dropping a bombshell on them. Ack. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do I guess!

So last night I had an interview for a job I really want. I think it went really well, with one or two stupid comments! Most of what I said was all good and confident, but I faltered on a couple of questions. But they did seem impressed with me… I finished the skills test faster than he thought I would and it was all accurate so he said I passed with flying colours. They have one more interview today and then they’re going to call me this afternoon to let me know. I can’t tell you how scared I am! I really desperately want this job. But if I don’t get it, I’m going to go to the other interviews I was offered yesterday. I just need a change. I can’t stay here, even though I want to.

So yep, that’s what happened! And last night Donna and Caragh came back from Edinburgh! They got me a fluffy little brown owl keyring (now named Pig) and a pewter fairy, which is amazing! Wooo

I’m thinking of making bread one of these days. Bread for my BREAD GUN… okay so just bread but you get the idea - it will be awesome bread. I may also make pizza, but that’s something me and Darren were going to do together And we made these amazing scones which were baked with strawberry jam already in the middle, like jam doughnuts really. So I may recreate them too :] Oh and of course easter cakes must be done. And a mother’s day cake for my mum.

So now I’m off to work to wait anxiously…

I’ve had no internet for a couple of weeks, so because I was off work last week I couldn’t get online at all. But Darren has fixed my PC so that it no longer overheats and turns itself off. Which is awesome And it worked, and then when we turned it back on later it just froze and refuses to start up. I’ll try it again tonight but I’m not optimistic. Something always goes wrong with this stupid computer. Sigh.

But on the plus side I had an amazing holiday, I had the most perfect weekend, and I got a lovely haircut…

It’s amazing how you can change your mind after so much time being bitter and/or crazy. But I have realised that we were just bad for each other, I think. So I don’t hate him anymore (I always did say I don’t waste time on people) but I don’t even dislike him anymore. I think he brought out the worst in me and I brought out the worst in him. But I’m kind of thinking of him now as someone who did give me a lot of good memories, along with the bad ones. I think I’m too nice to not like anymore for a long time

So yeah, funny that one comic strip will make you think all of this and change your day into something a bit brighter than it started out as. (I woke up going uhhhhhh it’s Monday… which is also a bit funny in connection to the comic :P) … I don’t think anyone has any idea what I’m on about except maybe one person. Oh well! I feel a bit silly writing all this because it’s just all so weird, but I had to write it down. It’s a bit crazy. But it’s right, as crazy things usually are… I know it is anyway.

And I know that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being hated by someone who once loved me, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hating someone I once loved. That would be a big waste on so many levels.

I know people will be angry with me for that, even if they don’t say it, but I’m sick of being angry and I’m sick of gossip and I’m sick of nastiness. I don’t want any of it…

In other news… I saw the Prince Caspian trailer at the cinema on Saturday. That made me happy But the weekend was extremely lacking in Darren, which sucked. He was busy studying and whatnot. But I did get to go see National Treasure with Max and Karloon, then went out drinking with Max! Which was fun. Ended up at the hospital. For the most stupid reason ever. I’m still slightly embarrassed But it was an awesome night.

And yesterday I made chocolate cake and some chocolate fairy cakes, which are under my desk right now and the smell is making me feel sick so at least I’m not tempted

Not long till Donna gets here!! I need to bake my yummy chewy cookies for her. And cheesecake of course. And appletinis…

Woo, I’m getting my hair cut next Friday Can’t wait! I think I’ll suit a fringe.. and it means I can get my eyebrow repierced and it might not be as obvious! bwahaha.

I wish I was at home =/ stupid work! It’s so nice and sunny. My mum and I are making soup tonight, which will be fun!

I have feck all to do this weekend. Except the book sale at Clarkston library but that’s in the morning. I want to go see Juno. Badly!

I want to start selling cakes and other baking but I can’t think how! I was speaking to Angela at work about it and we thought of jumble sales, I’d have to pay for a stall but I’m not sure how much you have to pay. It would just be fun to make a profit out of something I love doing. But I don’t really know where to start =/